Cupid for Jesus

Jesus replied, You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. (Matthew 22:37-38)

How do you help someone fall in love with God and love him wholeheartedly? Some might call that making a disciple or discipleship, but I don't like using that term in this context. Regardless of what you call it though, I believe loving God wholeheartedly is core. It's the first and greatest commandment. And it's all about the heart.

As I wrestle with this topic, I have so many questions of my own. What is core? What applies to all of us regardless of our story, our gender, our education and our background? What will reach our hearts and not just our intellect?

We must know God in order to love him. Because of this, we must have an accurate view of who God is. We must trust him. We must receive his love before we can love him. We must be rooted and grounded in love. It's a process but it's much more than a process. And it takes time.

Like a fingerprint, our hearts are unique. They are uniquely shaped. They are uniquely gifted. They are also uniquely wounded. Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted and to set the captives free (see Isaiah 61:1). This must happen in order for us to love him wholeheartedly. So it's intensely personal. There's a uniqueness involved when it comes to experiencing God. Moses' burning bush, Jonah's big fish, Saul's blinding light. These experiences were unique. So while there are some common aspects to falling in love with Jesus, we must also recognize there's no cookie cutter approach that will apply to everyone.

It's also a battle. We have an offer, but we also have an enemy (see John 10:10). In the Old Testament God promised to lead the children of Israel to the Promised Land and to give it to them. But they had to fight to get there. They had to fight to enter into the land. They had to fight to occupy the land. And they had to fight to remain in the land. All along the way, God was purifying them and testing them. He was forming them in order to develop their character...their faith...their hearts.

So what would I think and say and do if someone asked me to help them grow in their love relationship with Jesus... to love God wholeheartedly?

First, I would recognize that the Holy Spirit was already pursuing them and working in their heart just by the fact that they were asking.

The next thing I would do is pray. Anything I think or say or do is meaningless if the Holy Spirit isn't in it. In fact, I may actually be working against what God is doing in that person's life if I act in my own strength. It may sound trite but it is vital that we talk to God about someone before we talk to someone about God.

I would then ask them to share their story. And I would listen. This I cannot over-stress. The ministry of listening is precious and rare. I believe this is where the Holy Spirit will begin to direct us more specifically. As we listen, he will illuminate our minds. Certain things they say will stand out; particular events, wounds, joys, friends, experiences, facial expressions, body language. All of this is important.

Some topics to ask about if you're getting a blank stare at this point:

• Place of birth
• Upbringing
• Pets
• Schools
• Sports
• Favorite Music
• Favorite Books
• Favorite Movies
• Family Relations (Mom, Dad, etc.)
• boyfriends/girlfriends
• Fondest memories/experiences/people/places
• Most painful memories/experiences
• Church involvement and experiences
• How they came to know Christ
• What they currently do to grow their relationship with Christ
• Deepest fears
• Deepest longings
• What they think about God / Their view of him

This isn't an exhaustive list but the point is to get to know the person. The topics above are loosely arranged in order from the least invasive or risky to the more intimate in nature. The bottom half of the list is where you're headed, but I wouldn't suggest starting there in most cases.

This is where the commonality comes to an end and the individuality and uniqueness of each person and situation takes over. What you think, or say, or do next is vital. Pray. Resist the urge to "fix" them at this point or even the idea that you must give any advice at all. Your effectiveness is directly related to your abiding relationship with Jesus and walking in step with the Holy Spirit (see John 15:5). There's no formula, no methodology, no set of principles that will change a person's heart. There's only Jesus. And he is more than enough.

Some additional guidance:

• Share your own story
• Be vulnerable
• Be transparent
• Be authentic

After all, you're developing a trusted relationship. Be their friend.

• Encourage and challenge them to be honest with themselves, with you, and with God
• Point them to the Word of God. Give them scriptures to read and meditate on about knowing God and loving him. The Psalms are great for this!
• Have them read stories about men and women in the Bible who sought to love God wholeheartedly and then talk about those stories with them.
• Ask them to talk about what they think their life would look like if they were to love God wholeheartedly -- how would they think, how would they feel, what would they do differently?
• Listen for any barriers they mention related to knowing God and loving him
• Be patient
• Pay attention
• Laugh with them
• Cry with them
• Pray for them and for yourself

You may be wondering about the spiritual disciplines -- prayer, bible study, fasting, tithing, worship, etc. The Holy Spirit certainly may guide you to talk about these things as you get to know the person, but these activities should be motivated by love. The tendency often times will be to focus on external behaviors rather than the motives of the heart. Are they having a daily devotional because they love God and want to get to know him? Or, are they doing it out of a sense of duty or because they've been told it's what they are "supposed" to do?

Finally, there's a saying that you cannot impart what you do not possess. I believe that's true. You cannot truly help someone fall in love with God or learn how to love him wholeheartedly unless you do. Much of what we learn in life and especially what sticks with us is caught rather than taught.  Do you want to help someone fall in love with Jesus and love God wholeheartedly? Don't just tell them how. Show them how. Love them.

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. (John 13:34)

Love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:39)

A prayer to pray:

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:14-21)